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The Internet: No one: Not a single soul: Me: #kayenjee #MPFA #makepoetryfunagain #millennialAF #elementaryISH
After years of attempting to convince the interwebs of my prowess as a wordsmith, I realized that I have heretofore neglected to include a type of poetry lost to the annals of grade school: the acrostic. My resolution for 2021 is to single-handedly revive this art form, right here on this blog that no one reads. Here goes it. #kayenjee #MPFA #makepoetryfunagain #millennialAF
With the rise of the pandemic, Karens have finally gotten their day in the sun. I rewrote Dua Lipa's disco pop bop "Don't Start Now" to celebrate the entitled ignorance that informs every Karen's privileged struggle.
“I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.” – Socrates #notestoself #notestoothers #implicitbiasisreal #millennialAF #kayenjee
Mom: I put Super Sliders on all my furniture.
Also Mom: Let's put a rug under the couch so it doesn't slide when we sit on it. Me: I only need to type, print, and mail 1 page of poetry to this magazine to be considered for a paid publication.
Also me: Okay, but first, let me type out and sort 6 years of backlogged poems. The song "No" by Meghan Trainor was a vapid bop born in 2016 that promotes ideals like "Girls Rule, Boys Drool" and "If I put on a sexy-ish outfit, it will make my message about female autonomy more palatable to the masses". Needless to say, I played it on repeat. Then, I decided that it would be a great starting point for a cat-inspired parody. I was channeling grumpy cats and felines everywhere who just want to be left the hell alone.
The idea of kids going back to school and resuming all their germ-bag tendencies inspires anxiety in the hearts of parents around the country. Thankfully, I'm here to help.
In the past, we were limited to singing "The Happy Birthday Song" to informally time our hand cleaning. Gen Z has tired of the ways of old. Here's something for the kids: I'm overhauling 30-second portions of songs which are normally wildly inappropriate for children, to offer them something to sing whilst they diligently wash their hands for 30 seconds. Schools are now safe to reopen. Feel free to sing along. |
Rabbit HoleAt this point, you've fallen in pretty deep. I suggest you call for help. Just make sure your friend has the internet...and checks out the website. TYSM Archives
July 2021
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